omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize