Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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