Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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