My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
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