i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize