Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize