if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
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