I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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