i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i just had sex bonerless
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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