Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize