More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
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the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
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You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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