got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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