we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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