we're chasing vodka with high fives
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think a kid would responsible me up
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize