I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Randomize