i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
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We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
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we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
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