Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
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