They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
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Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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