You really coming over, don't trick.
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize