Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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