I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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