just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize