I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize