I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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