i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize