He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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