Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
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boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
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I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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