You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
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I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
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I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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