Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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