The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The feeling are messing with the penis
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize