I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize