Moan for me like Helen Keller
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
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