38 yer olds are good kisserssss
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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