I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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