Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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