your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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