Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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