I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
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I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
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I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize