Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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