i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
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