So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
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at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
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I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize