I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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