Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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