when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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