If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
ok first of all what the fuck
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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