I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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