oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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