Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
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