did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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