I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize