we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize