My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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