The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize